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OUR OPINION
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Here again.”
I must’ve thought that, or some form of it, more times in my life than I care to entertain. It was at the forefront of my mind through last winter.
On paper, everything was going great. I had been hired for the journalism fellowship through Washington State University that enabled me to come back to write for The Miner and a new venture, RANGE Media, in Spokane. Logically, I knew I have great friends and family, a lovely community, a sweet apartment --- a lot to be thankful for.
Yet I would lie in bed until late morning on the weekdays, sometimes until early afternoon on the weekends. I would vacillate between not eating and stuffing myself like a Christmas goose. I had lost all interest in hobbies and even the most routine of tasks felt like the mental version of lifting a brick with my pinkie finger.
“Here again,” I would think to myself, pulling the covers closer as if I could block out that cruel, condescending voice who was all too eager to review my internalized list of shortcomings.
I have struggled with depression and anxiety ever since I was a kid. I was diagnosed with ADHD late in life (mid-30s), which was a relief in finally realizing many of my faults were not moral failings, but it’s been a challenge finding the best way to treat it.
This might be an abrupt way to address that May is Mental Health Awareness Month, but sometimes worthwhile conversations are awkward ones. In the United States today, approximately one out of every five Americans is suffering with a mental health issue; and approximately one in 25 adults is experiencing a serious mental illness that substantially interferes with one or more major life activities, according to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI).
It can be a hard subject to talk about, especially in a culture that puts an emphasis on individualism and “pulling yourself up by your bootstraps.” Whether you are the one struggling or see someone you care about, mental health can be difficult to address.
Will they judge me? Will they think I’m judging them? Am I blowing things out of proportion? What if they get angry with me? What if I can’t talk to them anymore? What if they don’t want to talk to me?
If I had to describe my own mental health journey, I would say “ongoing.” While it is unique to me, I know that it’s not something that is happening to only me. What has kept me going is compassion, in my personal and professional life (I cannot overstate the value of a workplace that understands the importance of mental health and supports their employees).
If your head space is dark and your heart is heavy, there is an ear that will listen. The road is hard and long sometimes, but you don’t have to walk it alone.
For more information about mental health, go to www.nami.org. Pend Oreille County Counseling can be reached at 509-447-5651. For Bonner General Behavioral Health, call 208265-1090.
If you are in a mental health crisis and you are thinking about hurting yourself, call or text 988.
Read more about metal health on page 3B in this issue of The Miner.
SOPHIA MATTICE-ALDOUS IS A MURROW NEWS FELLOW WORKING DIRECTLY WITH NEWSROOMS AT THE NEWPORT MINER AND RANGE MEDIA THROUGH A PROGRAM ADMINISTERED BY WASHINGTON STATE UNIVERSITY. HER REPORTING IS AVAILABLE FOR USE VIA CREATIVE COMMONS WITH CREDIT.
