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I used to wake up fightin’ shadows on the wall
Carryin’ the weight like I caused it all
Hard on my heart, harder on my name
Lookin’ in the mirror just to pass the blame
I learned young how to bottle it tight
Smile in the day, unravel at night
But I’m still here, yeah I stayed somehow
Learnin’ how to breathe right now
I’m learnin’ to love who I already am
Be a little softer on this tired old man
Countin’ my wins, even the small ones too
Thankful for the scars that I lived through
I ain’t perfect, but I’m still tryin’
Still standin’ after almost dyin’
One slow step, one day at a time
I’m workin’ my way back from the brink
Yeah, I’m workin’ my way back
There were nights I didn’t trust my own mind
Walked that edge more than a few hard times
Had my back against the wall, nowhere to run
Just hopin’ the dark wouldn’t finally win
But somethin’ in me kept holdin’ on
Even when the hope felt dead and gone
Guess stubborn hearts don’t know when to quit
So I’m still breathin’ because of it
I’m learnin’ to love who I already am
Be a little softer on this tired old man
Say “you’re enough” and mean it too
Instead of breakin’ myself in two
I ain’t healed, but I’m still tryin’
Still standin’ after almost dyin’
One slow step, one day at a time
I’m workin’ my way back from the brink
Now I tuck my kids in at the end of the day
Try to give ‘em words I never heard them say
I tell ‘em they’re strong, I tell ‘em they’re smart
I tell ‘em it’s okay to have a fragile heart
I’m learnin’ patience, I’m learnin’ grace
Tryin’ not to pass down all my pain
If I can break one old family chain
Then every fight was worth the strain
I’m learnin’ to love who I already am
Show them the support I never had
Show up steady, stay when it’s hard
Teach ‘em how to heal, not hide their scars
I ain’t done, but I’m still tryin’
Still standin’ after almost dyin’
If they grow up stronger, wiser than me
Then that’s the man I wanted to be
I don’t need to win, don’t need to prove
I’ve already paid my dues
If tomorrow comes, I’ll meet it clean
With kinder words and better dreams
Yeah, I’m learnin’ to love who I already am
Thankful for the breath in my lungs again
I’m still here, and that’s somethin’ real
Every day I choose to heal
For my kids, for my life, for my name
For the man I’m becomin’ through the pain
One slow step, one honest try
I’m still here, and that’s why
-Nick Tucker
